Angel_SLQ's Little World: [Dairy] I Can Go On, I Can.

"Someone who loved for a long time, eventually,

they will forgot about the reason."

-Angel_SLQ

How can I put this words? Let me have a second thoughts but, my heart asked me to blog about it. Honestly, I had no idea what got into me. Somehow, I just like that things will changing by it owns because of the time. I guess that I'm just confuse.

I couldn't help but asked God so many question. I just couldn't. Why must things seem to be taken away by someone when the other parties knew I like it more? I mean, it is not a big deal but to me, it is. Why must everyone seem to be not happy about me? Don't I even have the right of not smiling? I don't born out to entertain anyone but myself. Why must I put on a fake mask in order to lift up the mood? Why?

Why can she bought all those stuff that I wanted long ago while I can't even buy it when I'm working part time to earn money? Why does people always praise her but not me? Why must I be so untalented and useless?

To me, I'm just a girl that is short, fugly and freaking useless.

I can't help but think bad about myself when I looked at the mirror and all I saw was a monster instead of a girl.

Been close to someone or something isn't a good thing. I mean, what if they leave you all of a sudden? I hate that and I'm afraid of that. Right, afraid. I had a fear for height and most of my friends knew that. Recently, I had overcome my fear of letting someone piggy back me, thanks to Chloe. But, I guess my fear for height is worse than I thought. Climbed to the highest point of a ladder and I was scared till I couldn't really do my best in work. Even climbed up to bar chair, I was afraid. How useless and weak am I.

Been judged by friends about jawline and face, isn't a good feeling. Plastic surgery, ugly and no-no. I had enough of it. Just live your own life and stop judging mine. So what I had a strong jawline? It looked like a guy but is that your problem? So what if I'm ugly, I know. Do you have to tell me in face? Can you be more sensitive? Like seriously?

If someone ever knew about my fear, I bet they will laugh their head off. They will be like, "What? A girl like you is afraid of dark and height?". Ya-ya. Laugh if you want. I care, but what can I do, huh?

Why must things that I seem to liked, it will be out of my reach? Well, it is okay. That's all I could tell myself. It is fine. It is fine. It is fine. It is not fine. I'm fine.

If I ever had a chance to fill in any color in my life, that will be sky blue. We're the author of our life but we're not the one that will be publishing it. Someone might just dash into the printing room and change the detail without letting us know. I want to write my own life with flying color. I wish that I had a super glue that will be able to stick those letters into the books..