[Dairy] Trust No One

From times to times, I always says that we must not trust anyone but ourselves. That's something I told myself and others but I'm always the one that doesn't take in this advise that was given by myself. There are times where I don't know to thanks those people that made my life miserable or hate those people, it was just too confuse to even think and make a decision. 

Don't ever make a promise with anyone, it will only hurt you by the end of the day. Going through all those things for this years and the past let me don't feel like going on with life any longer. What is the use of living when you ain't happy? What is the use of living when someone always had the things that you want long ago? 

Sometime, it does pissed me off whenever someone let something of what I first claim to like and they knew that I loved it more, but they choose to give it to that someone instead. During those moments, I really feel like grabbing their collar and ask them, "Why must you give away something that was so important in my heart even when it wasn't real?". 

Don't I deserve anything or anyone? Maybe I really don't deserve it. There is thousand of people better than me in this world and I can only take it if I'm better than her but I am not and I'm sorry. I have lots of friends but I don't have any friends to talk to even when I'm bored. This let me felt that they're find me pitiful coz of how I doesn't have friends.

What got into me ever since I entered this school? I don't deny the facts that I had think of quitting school, things doesn't goes right, I can't cope well and the most important thing is ... never mind.