[Dairy] Facing Obstacle In Life

Nothing seem to goes right for me. For countless night, there is only tears and silent embracing me. There is thousand of thoughts crossing my tiny mind and I really had no one to share with. Thousand...Thousand of it in one shot. How can I cope with it? Every single day, I need to endure all those shit from everyone. Am I born out for you to comment on me? My look? I know, I know it all. But why must you say it? Some people  might think that why am I making a big deal about it? Let me tell you this, I really don't give a damn of how you think about what I think of myself. If you wanna comment, go head, I don't care but doesn't mean that I don't mind. I don't invite any of you that are unhappy of what I think to read my blog. You're free to leave and that is all. I don't force anyone and you're the one that want to read it. This is my thoughts and I am different from everyone. 

Sometime, it does pissed me off of how others always need to endure what I say, what hurt the most is, it gave me an impression of I can't be myself when I want to. Don't judge me or endure what I says because I never ask anyone to endure it. I'm just been myself. Unhappy? Leave. 

There are times where you need to live with this kind of attitude so that others will know what is right and what is wrong. This is my blog so I have the right to post what I want. I won't have any right to stop you from posting whatever things in your own blog too. 

Honestly, I don't really mind been alone anymore. I admit that I was afraid in the past but I am not right now because I learned that been alone isn't bad after all. You got to do what you want and go to wherever you wanna go instead of been a follower. Either a leader or a follower and I chose to be a leader of my own. At least been alone don't need to take in shit from people. I don't know how to smile when I am not happy, why must I pretend to be someone else that wasn't me? Either you accept me or never. But, sometime I guess I shouldn't be myself for others sake. I don't know what I'm saying.. I'm too confuse.

Always wanna be pretty like others but I know is not possible for me. Is like Ariel that is always trying to go onto the surface of the sea. Always trying. Ariel reached the surface and lived happily ever after but I will only drown and die sadly ever after. 

Doesn't belong to me but why can't I have it too? I'm too greedy to share it. 

Why must those drama at work added in more trouble into my troubled life? Honestly, I regret getting into this course. No, is this school. I wish I doesn't have school anymore. So I can focus on working and doing things that I like by going toward it. There is always thousand of stair to climb before I can reach it. Always and always. People praised others but that others is always not included me. Sometime I find it unfair but I always told myself that those obstacle that I'm going through right now is going to make me into a stronger person to face harder obstacle in the future.


Music is always the things that accompany me whenever I need someone there for me. Singing seem to be the only way I let my emotional escape to this reality, the only way to let me feel better. Dancing seem to be the only time where I felt confident. Writing seem to be the only way that allow me to write out my real thoughts without been afraid of anything.