[Dairy] Needing Someone Yet There's None

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Where should I start? The feeling of that dream felt so real and it freaking ruin my mood for the whole day. 아니.. It shall be that I'm broken by now. All of a sudden, I started to think of the past, it does let me regret for all the things that I once did. I started to question myself why did I does all those things in the first place? I felt so confuse at this moments. Tons of thoughts is running inside my small mind. I started to worry about my future, I started to worry what if I couldn't go on any longer, I started to question myself.

Why, why, why, WHY?

This is so many WHY in my mind.

Why am I like this? Why am I born this way? Why ? Why why?



I don't even have any idea what I am talking about. All of a sudden, my mood is totally ruin. Sometime, I think the best way is to escape away from the social world. I started to worry about all my friends and I started to notice that, each and every ones of my friends, had already moved on to their own company and their own life. When is it that I will move on?

Looking left and right, front and back, there is none of the company I could join. Either ones of them don't really like me coz of whatever reason or else they just think that 2 is enough. I had friends but I still felt lonely. Who I can turn to when I need someone to speak to? There is some I could turn to but they just simply don't understand what I need and what I mean. What I mean is that of course they doesn't know what I need coz they ain't me. But they simply don't get what I mean and how I felt but well, they ain't me so... it isn't their wrong.


I guess I'm just too use to keep to myself about those past. Those past that I never even talk to anyone about it. Those things that I once told others about is all small matter.


Maybe one day, someone will be special enough to let me trust them, so that I will be able to open up. I just hope that groups of person or that person will be in my life no matter at which stop because I really need someone beside me to be listening to me even I didn't say it out or pretended that I didn't need one.

I might be laughing all day long but, I'm ain't that strong. 

I felt so lonely at every second, I felt so lonely, 

There's tons of things I wanted to share but, I'm afraid, 

I spaced out to keep to myself, in order to survive.