[Dairy] Don't Leave

If only this world have a pill call 'Happy Pill'. If we could forget someone that easily then it will be great. There's always someone we want to forget about yet we can't bring ourselves to do it. It's not because we're not trying to but that someone are too important to you, when you don't even know why they're that important to you. It's like that person fill up your mind, you try to shake that image off but no matter how hard you try to, that person just won't be gone from your mind. 

Sometime I totally have no idea what got into me, my heart felt so small and confuse. There's no others thing that could get into my heart, it's hard to replace a thing/person with another thing/person when that thing/person meant so much to you. 

I could only smile and pretend that everything is fine.

Once I close my eye, everything just start to repeat all over again in my mind. All the mistake that I had made since young till now. Regret after regret, holes after holes, no matter how I wish to mend it, it won't mend ever again. 

I just wish that at least there will be someone there for me but, there's no one. Friends might think they understand me or think they're my bestie but they had no idea how much they hurt me. If they really understand me and stood by me, I won't be here anymore. I tried to open up to them but they always miss that moments where I already prepare to share all my secret. By the time they turn to me, I closed up again. Chance are gone once you miss it. 

Given myself 4 years, going through all this tough moments, going through all this lonely moments. I just want to prove myself to people that looked down on me, I just wanted to prove to myself.  It's okay to be alone, it's okay to be harm but it's not okay if you're not happy.

I, learning how to be happy,

I,learning to be a better person,

I, promised myself to keep every unhappiness to myself,

I, promised myself not to tell anyone anything anymore.

Parent are the King and Queen, 

We, are not the Princess or Prince, but 

we're the citizen of their kingdom.

Our ear lie to us :'( 

Dream is a messy thing. You could love it, you could hate it at the same time. You want to have it, you  need it too. You want to reach it, you need to reach it. You want to be happy while chasing after this dream yet you go through lots of shity thing. 

You, judging yourself hashly, much more hash than others judge you. 

You, hate yourself much more than others do.

You, think you're untalented even others think you're talented.

You, started to doubt yourself, while others too.

Is this the future MRT map?

I will be damn happy if this map happen! It's like I could go anywhere!