●▂● I always wish you were here,whenever I'm broken. Just like a doll,I need someone to pick me up,to care for me,to be there for me. Didn't I once said it? I was always been treated as a toy,no matter by who. Whoever needed me,picked me up,than thrown me away once again. Is it fair? Is this world even fair in the first place? The answers had always been no to me,since the day I was born. ●▂●
●△● No one ever bother to understand,no one even understand even when they bother to understand. They will never understand what I once went through. I hate myself sometime,I blamed myself instead of others. Asking myself why can't I be normal and fit in,just like others? Asking myself why am I born this way? But,once again,I told myself that I'm already counted as lucky. Some people around this earth,are having a harder life than me. But,human always tend to think ourselves as the most unlucky person in this world when we're not. We're human,we're like this. I hate myself,why am I like this? I hate this world,why are this world making our life so hard,day by day? There's always no answers. There's always no solution. We're born this way,no matter how we envy and let jealous take over us,there will be no solution. This is me,this is my voice from my heart,this is the negative point of me. ●△●
●﹏● What if there's a hater in your life? Okay,everyone will have at least one or more hater in their life.Everyone. But,what if that hater is ourselves? What will you do? How will you react? Scream? Cry? Do nothing? I'm the biggest hater for myself,in my life. I hate myself,I judge myself hash enough,just because I'm never happy with myself,just because I have high expectation in myself. Sometime,I just wish I had someone here with me. Sometime,I just wish that I could say out all my feeling to someone,face to face.But,there's no one that I could really do that to. Even right now,as I'm blogging,I had to mind my own words. ●﹏●
●▽● People always thought I'm a easy-going and happy-easy-go girl. But,had they even really see the me,that was deep within me? I'm a girl that was sensitive,even without showing it. I'm a girl that fell easily,even without telling anyone,just cried to myself,when I'm alone. I'm a girl that felt insecure,and people around me are just trying to made it worse. I'm a girl without confident,and those around me just don't bother and carried on hurting me without knowing. Is it a crime to be quiet,for some time? People seem to get use to the cheerful me,rather than the quiet me. The truth is,I had many personality. It all depend on which I want to show you. When I'm quiet,it mean I need time alone or else it mean that I'm pissed off by someone or something or even myself. I hate it when I'm quiet,people around me kept quiet too. It's like,it give me a thinking that it's my duty to keep been cheerful in order to keep that active mood within us. ●▽●
●︿● Why do you had to judged me? I always had judged myself,hash enough. I know what I'm bad in,what I doing wrong. Do you know those words that you once said,always ran through my mind and made my heart hurt? I don't blame you though,I thanks you. Those words,made me stronger,made me strong in mentally. I'm always prepare for all those hardship that was coming my way. I might fell easily,but I will stand up once I recover. I will carry on running forward,sometime I might stop and hurt myself,sometime I might stop to look back,but I will still smile and look forward and carry on running when it's time. This is me,the one that was chasing after my dream,with a torn heart,mentally strong mind and a fake smile to heal my torn heart. ●︿●
●ω● Wanted to be successful one day. Hearing Isooni-Goose Dream in train today,for no reason,my tear just wanted to flow down but it don't because I always told myself not to cry in front of others. I asked heaven,why do they always let me fell so deeply? Why do they let me suffer with my own personality that always made me fell deeply. I asked myself,why am I so useless? I asked myself,why am I so untalented? I asked myself,will it be better if I wasn't born into this world? But the answers is,even without my exist,this earth still spin. ●ω●
♚ ♛ ♜ ♝ ♞ ♟
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