Never Give Up!

Lots of thought went through my head this afternoon.

I did not cried for failing this audition for this time but all of a sudden,this topic popped up into my mind.

My mind,my heart and myself was chatting.

Mind : "This is the 8th time you had fail and you're still holding on to it?You really think you have the potential?"

Me : "I know this is the 8th time..But,even a great singer like IU had to audition 20s time before been at where she is right now.." 

Mind : "And what if you fail more then 20 audition?Are you going to give up?" 

Me : "............." 

Heart : "No matter you fail or whatever happen,just go for it,because this is what you want.Try it,so what if you fail,at least you try."

Me : "What if I really can't reach my dream?I don't want...."

Mind : "Then give up right now.You won't pass one."

Heart : "Give it a try.You won't know unless you try."

Me : "But what if I keep fail?Am I going to keep holding on?Am I that stubborn?" 

Heart : "I have no answers but you just got to hold on till the end of your life,because this is your dream.If you really wanted to give up,you will have give up 6 year ago.People think you can't,you think you can't,prove to them and yourself that you can do it."

Me : "But..What if I really don't reach it?What if I'm really don't have talent for it?"

Heart : "There's no 'What if'. Just shut up and try it. Improve yourself,there's no excuse."

I told myself to believe my heart but it's hard to...

I'm really afraid of the future.I always ask myself why am I that useless?Why am I that untalented?

I was only answered by silent.

I got to find those answers b myself.

No matter what happen,no matter how hard life is,I got to go on and improve myself.

What can I do expect to improve myself?

When I don't even know where I lack in.

Praying to God,but there's forever no answers.Forever don't have.

Sometime this let me think,does God even listen to us?Maybe he did but he's too busy to let us know the answers.

I will try to do what I love to do,don't care about other.

I will try to reach my dream,because this dream is my life and singing is my passion,the thing I love to do is only singing.

The only person I can trust is music,it's a person because it's not an object in my eye and heart.

"

Reading through what a girl say about this audition,I agree and it does cheer me up.

"Be it this is our 1st or another try,just keep trying if your passion is still burning."

Every company looking for different type of trainee.

It might be we choosen wrong song to perform,or we lack experiences  or we are not the type of trainee they're looking for.

I wonder which I fall into.I don't think I choosen wrong song because I'm sure that this is the right song for me,I trust this song,I understand this song and this song trust me. So I guess it's lack of experiences,that why I couldn't brought out the right emotional for this song.It been a long time since I know the feeling of this song but I will try to regain it again just for a cover on Youtube.It's  confirm that I'm not the type of trainee they're looking for.

I don't think that anyone will find my personality fun or anything about me is fun.

I guess that everything about me is PLAIN.

A plain girl with goose dream.

There're just so many people that are better then me,when will that chance come to me?

Life are really funny at time or should I say dream?

Sometime,those that are really talented,are not choose.Not that I am one,I'm talking about other talented Youtuber.

I won't stop trying,as long as I'm breathing,I will keep trying till I success.

I won't give up till I success,once I success,a new goal start.

It's hard to stay on the sunny side of life but we got to,in order to become stronger and to survive in this kind of world.

I'm the author,I'm going to end my own story with a success,a me that die with no regret.

It's hard,those few chapter that I wish to ripped it off,it's impossible.

The only thing I can do is to write a better chapter to cover up all those bad chapter.

I want to capture all those moments that happen in my life and make my novel into a dairy.

Those moments I wish that come back again,those moments.

Without the failure,we can never see the success.

Taken all this photo at Art Room @ Beatty Secondary School.

The first photo I taken after I cut short hair :) 

I think I look weird,like mushroom hair because of the thickness.

Like a crazy person,I kept looking at short hair girl in MRT.

All of a sudden,I miss my long hair.