Tear that froze,laughing at myself,wishing that I could forgot you.
Whenever I saw something related to you,my heart skip a beat,
Please,tear please just stop,I had to forgot that person,
No matter how much I cry,you won't know,please,
Heart,please,I had to do this.
Sleep till 8am+ today but I swear,it felt like I sleep so long....
Those dream keep on replaying and replaying,I felt that I was never going to wake up anymore,I don't fear,I just sad about it.
Those dream I had yesterday was a dream that I never even forgot about one image of it.All are clearly in my mind.All those little detail are telling me thing that I don't want to admit. Those tear I had before going to dreamland,had already prove everything and anything.
Those necklance,those ring,those fate,those feeling I get when all people around me throw me away.
Waking up yet I force myself to sleep even I want to practice,because I'm afraid of the reality,it's hurt much more than this dream.
Not a nightmare,but a dream I fear the most,a dream that let me know what my heart are like.
It confirm everything and anything that I felt.
Yet I force myself to woke up because I know,I can't escape from it.
Woke up and start practicing and practicing,starting from warm-up and this time my throat don't hurt anymore.It's getting use to it and I'm glad for my throat.
Than start to listen the song over and over again and than practice it without the singer's vocal but only the instrumental and I'm surprise at how well I know this song till I can follow the instrumental,I always have no confident about singing along with only the instrumental but now I guess it's fine and it's fun.
I'm having fun practicing,and I'm glad that I did because if I don't have fun,is this still call a passion?
There's one record that can be put up but I just think that it can be improve more so I brush it off and carry on practicing.The volume was really low when I preview it..I record it from webcam in Youtube and it's really low when I already test,singing in my loudest.Totally the same..I will try to find a way,if not,no choice than.
After SNSD Tiffany-By Myself,I think I might cover ........ I don't know.Well,never mind.
Learning Miss A-Goodbye Baby full version and found out that there's damn many mistake in the one we cover.
Well...................
Learning Korean,totally crazy about training today...
MP3 was fine,I'm glad that it's fine.
Someone say my talking are too formal..Hmm...I guess it is but I'm just not use to talk in a informal way.
Thinking of finishing my coursework fast than I guess it's time to find a job and start working part-time.I need those money,had plan for many thing ahead to complete.
All this pain that I go through are making me suffer but it's making me stronger and stronger,day by day.
I hate it yet I'm thankful that it happen to me.
I hate the tone of my voice but what can I do,right?
I might have kinda of deep voice when I talk but I have thin and light tone,for singing,I have the thin and light tone.No matter how much I want to change it to a strong and mature tone,it won't happen because I'm born this way.Upset over my own tone today while practicing but I stand up by myself and listen to different cover for the same song and I told myself, "Everyone have different tone,if everyone have same tone,we won't ever need different singer."
I tell myself that it's okay even my tone sound bad,what mean the most is I must enjoy what I'm doing at the current moments,if I don't,who will enjoy the thing that I produce out?
This path are really hard,once you step on the first stone,you can't stop walking till you reach the end,but it's not going to stop me at anyway.I'm just going to walk on the stone,one by one.
I might sound crazy,but I'm serious.
Those people around me,that love music,I must admit they have better tone than me.
But what can I do?
I know I'm not better than them and they must be laughing at me but I just don't care because I love doing the thing I'm doing now,I don't care if you judge me.
Saying I don't care,is fake...Let be honest,I DO care about how and who judge me.
I'm afraid of it but I told myself that if I wanted to be who I want,I must accept those judgement and use it to improve myself even those judgement hurt ALOTS.
From young till now,I'm encouraging myself,standing up by myself after I fell.
It's fine if you carry on misunderstood me or angry me,I don't give a damn anymore.
I'm sick and tired of drama.
I'm just saying what's on my mind,if you're not happy,than so be it.
Practicing,thinking of you,I sang along to the song and my tear just auto flow out.
I tried to carried on singing but I just can't,I just get too emotional,
The lyrics are totally how I felt,no matter how far you're,I just want you to be happy.
Scolding myself over and over again to stop crying,it's just not going to help but I just can't help it.
I'm afraid of horror show yet I want to watch it.Yet,I'm afraid to watch it alone.YET!
With someone,I will act as if I'm not scare of it.
This is me,the me that act tough in front of people,no matter who and the real me that's just like any girl that have a gentle side and weak side of me.Don't treat me as one of the guy.
Yes,I might have say those thing before but it's all in the past.
Right now,even you give me a small role of performing,I'm willing to do it and do it happily even I will be jealous because right now my passion just naturally take over my pride.Those aim of mine,is still there but if I don't get those aim but those lower than that aim,just let me perform,and I will be happy.I'm fine with it right now,I have change,like I say,music change me.
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