Saturday, March 17, 2012

[Dairy] I Love You,Music


Those moments that we spent,those image we have taken,
No matter how far we're apart,please don't forget me,
Remember me,just like how I remember you,always and always
Rain that falling down,just like my tear,remember me,
Even you're with other girl,please,don't forget me,
Because it take both of us,to make my life complete.
Remember me,just like how I remember you.



Unable to record cover since my webcam for no reason was not working.Try to find the disc for the webcam but I just can't found it.

Looking through you'll picture,thinking back the memories I had with you'll,I ask myself, "Do I regret following your?What if I'm still following your,will I be as prefect as you'll right now?" 

But I told myself with tear flowing down, "It's better if you don't follow them,you made a right choice to leave them.If you never leave,you won't be where you're right now." 

No matter how I want to be as prefect as them,I don't regret for where I was right now,at least I focus on my dream rather than my looks.

Well,I do focus on my looks by just taking care of skin because I really don't like to make-up.I once again try it today and with those smokey eyeliner but well,I still prefer it when I was bare face,since I don't looks different with or without make-up which is because my skill are not that great.

Why I hate make-up? 

Because I hate to remove it.It's so troublesome and it's hard to get those eye make-up off.

Just let those tear wash away my pain I felt,those insecure I felt,those envy I had inside me.Looking at you'll photo only let me felt ashame.I keep asking myself that you'll are younger than me yet you'll are much more social than me plus you'll are much more into fashion than me.

But I guess,I just want to be myself,I don't want to fit in because we'll are born to stand out.
Not that I don't care,I do care,just that even if I care,nothing will change.
I'm just a late bloomer.



When will all this tears stop?

Everyday crying to sleep,everyday crying when no one was looking,can I stop been such a cry-baby?
But well,I'm glad that I cry out because crying is a way I let out all my stress and once again come back as a cheerful person.

I'm sick of this chic image,always trying to keep it in order not to look weak to other people.
Keep this chic image in order to protect myself from been hurt,acting as if I'm not hurt by anything,acting as if I don't scare of ANYTHING but there're time where I'm really scare,really wish that someone was here for me.

Since I choose to keep this image,I will keep it till the end,it's alright since I have keep that image from 0 year old till now.

Want to behave like a girl for at least one day,want to dress those girly dress,want to look like a girl for at least one day,even one hour,I'm fine with it.
But without any reason,I can't bring myself to wear all those girly dress and behave like a gentle girl in front of people.I have this side but I just can't bring myself forward to show other this soft side of mine.

People always see me as those tough & chic girl,I bet no one will get use to see that side of me because I will not use to it too.

I can be as bitch as anyone,I can be as cheerful as anyone,I can be as weak as anyone,I can be as strong as anyone,I can be as gentle as anyone.
It just depend who's that person that make me willing to show all those side of mine.


I need to take hope,faith,courage,passion,strength and beauty.

It's okay,even I love freedom as much as anyone,I'm willing to give up my freedom just for my passion because passion is the thing I love to do.

In life,we got to give up something as we go on with our life,just for a better thing.


I might be a slow learner but I never want to let go of this dream,because it's my passion.

I want to grow up step by step,day by day,for this passion.

I don't know if I'm able to reach it,but I'm just going to live without regret.

I might be slow in learning dance when seeing video,but I'm not going to give up.

I might not have a great tone,but I'm not going to give up.

I might not have a pretty face,but I'm not going to give up.

I might not be tall,but I'm not going to give up.

I might not be great in rapping,but I'm not going to give up.

I'm not prefect,but this does not mean I will give up when I already hold on for 6 year.



There're time when I really wish to look at my application form that was in front of the judge because they will write all those comment down and than I can really know what I'm lacking.


There're time when I wish I don't have any friend in school,because I can be a loner.No one to care about me,no matter what I do,no one will point out my flaw.

There're time when I wish I was been bully by the whole school,because than I will be more and more stronger to carry on my life.

There're time when I wish that I can keep to myself and don't talk for the whole day without any friend,than I can clear my mind and see the world better.


I love those peaceful and quiet time,that why I always don't waste a single second when I have those rare moments.





No one care,it's fine,isn't that what I want? 

Even I have friend,it's like I don't have friend because every single moments all I felt is - Lonely. 

It's hard to find till someone that will take this empty place in my heart,it's still empty,I still felt lonely.

The only thing that don't let me felt lonely is Music.

That's why I love music so much that I can hold on to this dream for 6 year without giving up,I don't know what is the reason that let me hold on to it for 6 year,I guess it's because I love Music so much.

Sometime I doubt myself whether I really love Music but when I try to find the answers by not listening to any song for many day,still I will at last listen to it. 

I guess my heart are so hard-hearted that I don't felt any feeling when I love a thing or person.

The only way to confirm is to stay away from those thing I love for a moments,if I really love it I will go back to it,if I don't love it,I won't even turn to face it again.

Thanks you,Music.

You're the only one that don't left me alone,you're the only one that don't judge me.

Saranghaeyo


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