[Dairy] Sometime I Just Need You Here

No matter how I watch you,you're just prefect,

Even I laugh at your foolish,you're still prefect,

People love you,people adore you,I'm just watching you from far,

No matter how the world will forgotten you one day,I won't,

I will be the last person to go to you and comfort you,

till you stand up,and I will leave again.

Once again I'm stare at the screen and wondering what to type,many time I just don't know what to type about where there's many thought inside my mind..

I guess it become a habit for me to everyday write those lyrics,it's like a dairy.

"I wish you were here~" - Avril Lavigne - Wish You Were Here.

Everytime I just don't want to be this way to you,but I just can't help it.This is a habit that company me since young,I wanted to talk to you in a more gentle tone because I know with my tone that I currently use on you,you will be hurt.I heard you cry on night and that break my heart,even right now,typing while tear going drop.

I'm not afraid to cry but I'm just afraid that someone will see it.

I always had a image of a strong and cheerful girl but this crying side of me is no longer that image,it's a image of a weak and gentle girl.I guess no one believe I have this gentle side,but yes,it's the real me that is deep inside me.I can have fun,I can be the lady too.It just depend who's the person.To someone special to me,I will show both side of me,till now it's still deep in my heart.

I'm not a toy so please don't treat me as one,I don't belong to anyone so no one can steal me away and I don't belong to you.I own myself,I'm the leader to myself,I a human not a toy.Please treat me as a human but not a toy :)

I can easily pick you up and easily throw you down again,you should know what I mean.

It all depend on how you treat me and how much I have bottle those thing inside me.

If you hurt me much more than enough,it will be time where I throw you down and than it will be pinch of silent.Nothing but silent,it's like we're stranger.

There're time where I find that I'm annoying and I annoyed that person,because from typing,can see it.I can sense thing easily.

It's alright now,I'm a loner.

Forever 

and 

Ever. 

It's fine,I have got use to it since young.Even I have friend,since 0 to 16 year old,I'm by myself.I felt that I have no one by my side at all,I'm just a loner.

I just need someone,that someone.

I don't know what kind of person I need but I just need someone that blend well with me,that person that truly know what I always mean.

Call me a bitch, or whatever shit. I'm born this way,what can I do?

Don't like my character,just freaking get out of my life,I freaking hate yours too if you hate mine.

If you want to stay,just accept me for who I am and don't freaking judge me.

Those smile I always hope to see,

Those word I always hope to hear,

Those feel I always hope to feel,

Those warm I always hope to feel,

Seeing those old people been alone just hurt me deeply,always having a soft spot for them.

Helping a old man to press the lift button for him to walk out slowly,those smile he gave me,warm up my day.

I ask myself, "Was I that kind?Than why I don't show it in front of others?" 

The wind answers me , "Because you're always keeping your chic image." 

Hell yeah,I'm always keeping that and always think twice about helping someone out,yet that burning passion inside me wanted to help.Seeing someone smile is the most important thing to me,I rather I'm the one that don't smile.

I can give up my smile forever just for you,I can don't smile forever,it's fine if you smile.

Because you're prefect and your smile are amazing,you let other around you smile,

There's lots of thing you'll don't know about me,I don't wish to say out,even you found out,I don't care anymore,just go ahead and say it.

I don't have the strength to care anymore.

Even it's a dream,I will always be here waiting for you,
Call me a foolish,I don't care,
Because I just a fool.