No matter how many letter,you won't respond,you're cruel.
Yet,I still love you,the cruel you,I love you.
The pain that was bury deep in one's heart,the pain that only that person can know how it felt.No matter how another person try to understand one's heart,it's impossible.Never try to dig out the deepest feeling of a person,because you won't be able to handle it by the side.You won't know what to do to make that person feel better. There's always one person that can make them feel better,and that person is the one that make their heart felt that way. It's complicated,it will never be understand.
Always thinking of doing something meaningful for that person,always telling ownself to come back to reality but it just won't help.There's always a feeling that pull you back into your own world,the world that seem so prefect,the world that no one can destroy but only yourselves. No one can restore it,expect you and maybe your special one.
No matter you believe a not,everyone have a soulmate at somewhere at this large world.No matter what,something will be connected between both of you and bring you both together when the right times come but as time goes by,million year have pass,no one start to believe in soulmate and it's leave alone at one side and by now,hardly anyone can feel that feeling when two soulmate been together. It's a feeling that is more special than been with normal people. You're one,there's another one for you. Wait for it to come,it will come one day.
Even trying to tell you'll don't cry over the pain you once had in love but I know it's hard to do it.It's really hard to forgot the pain even you have forgot the love you had for that person.It's always the pain and memories that remain there and it's just making that person suffer even more than the moments when been apart.
My writing have always seem like a puzzle.It's mystery that contain lots of secret,maybe you know part of it but you don't know the whole part of it and you will never find out because by the time you find out,thing might change over times. My whole life is a puzzle to everyone and I don't felt bother by it,instead,I felt that's how my life should be.
Sometime,I'm really tired that I have to keep an image in front of others.That image is me,it have been part of me but it's not the image that I felt inside me.Mostly,I'm the one that's cheerful and hyper and bad temper and behave like a guy. That is just an image I have to keep in front of others as they got use to see me been like that. The other image of me,which is the one I always afraid to show,is the one that is shy,quiet,timid and low-confident. I know I got to keep this image because I have once try it to show the other part of me to others and those people always thought I'm angry if I keep quiet. No,I just need some space to sort out my thought.
I might behave like a guy,because that's how other see me as so I behave that way but if I'm alone and you put a hidden camera in my house,you will see the girl side of me.This side,I haven't even show to one person.No one have seen this emotional side because I just can't find a suitable person to see it.
I might seem like I'm brave,but that's just my acting.Acting as if I'm not scare but part of me is scare like hell.
I might behave like one crazy kids that's noisy but I guess most of you have seen the quiet side of me that seem unemotional right? That's the image I truly want to show out,but once I show out,people get away from me and leave me alone. I'm afraid of been leave alone but I don't want friend to keep stick to me because I want personal space. I'm hard to please and I hate this facts. No matter how angry I am,I will endure inside me and keep it bottle up till one day it need to be pour out. I just need a listening ear instead of a judgement mouth.
It's really tiring keeping up an image. Really hard. Why am I feeling so tired now a day when I still have a normal day? It's weird..Having dark circle. Really,it make me seem more ugly that before when before I was already super ugly. Hey pretty girl,you're freaking lucky so don't keep tell me you're not pretty in front of me,a person,that is more ugly than you.You're just making me having more low-confident. I don't blame you though,because you're just been humble but hate still come as time goes by.
Will I really give up this dream?
Always thinking of doing something meaningful for that person,always telling ownself to come back to reality but it just won't help.There's always a feeling that pull you back into your own world,the world that seem so prefect,the world that no one can destroy but only yourselves. No one can restore it,expect you and maybe your special one.
No matter you believe a not,everyone have a soulmate at somewhere at this large world.No matter what,something will be connected between both of you and bring you both together when the right times come but as time goes by,million year have pass,no one start to believe in soulmate and it's leave alone at one side and by now,hardly anyone can feel that feeling when two soulmate been together. It's a feeling that is more special than been with normal people. You're one,there's another one for you. Wait for it to come,it will come one day.
Even trying to tell you'll don't cry over the pain you once had in love but I know it's hard to do it.It's really hard to forgot the pain even you have forgot the love you had for that person.It's always the pain and memories that remain there and it's just making that person suffer even more than the moments when been apart.
My writing have always seem like a puzzle.It's mystery that contain lots of secret,maybe you know part of it but you don't know the whole part of it and you will never find out because by the time you find out,thing might change over times. My whole life is a puzzle to everyone and I don't felt bother by it,instead,I felt that's how my life should be.
Sometime,I'm really tired that I have to keep an image in front of others.That image is me,it have been part of me but it's not the image that I felt inside me.Mostly,I'm the one that's cheerful and hyper and bad temper and behave like a guy. That is just an image I have to keep in front of others as they got use to see me been like that. The other image of me,which is the one I always afraid to show,is the one that is shy,quiet,timid and low-confident. I know I got to keep this image because I have once try it to show the other part of me to others and those people always thought I'm angry if I keep quiet. No,I just need some space to sort out my thought.
I might behave like a guy,because that's how other see me as so I behave that way but if I'm alone and you put a hidden camera in my house,you will see the girl side of me.This side,I haven't even show to one person.No one have seen this emotional side because I just can't find a suitable person to see it.
I might seem like I'm brave,but that's just my acting.Acting as if I'm not scare but part of me is scare like hell.
I might behave like one crazy kids that's noisy but I guess most of you have seen the quiet side of me that seem unemotional right? That's the image I truly want to show out,but once I show out,people get away from me and leave me alone. I'm afraid of been leave alone but I don't want friend to keep stick to me because I want personal space. I'm hard to please and I hate this facts. No matter how angry I am,I will endure inside me and keep it bottle up till one day it need to be pour out. I just need a listening ear instead of a judgement mouth.
It's really tiring keeping up an image. Really hard. Why am I feeling so tired now a day when I still have a normal day? It's weird..Having dark circle. Really,it make me seem more ugly that before when before I was already super ugly. Hey pretty girl,you're freaking lucky so don't keep tell me you're not pretty in front of me,a person,that is more ugly than you.You're just making me having more low-confident. I don't blame you though,because you're just been humble but hate still come as time goes by.
Will I really give up this dream?
I guess I won't. I'm just too stubborn to give up when I really want this dream. Is this call passion or stubborn?
It's hard and I know I'm not good enough and it will be a miracle if I reach it,never hope too much for it but still dream of it.
It's hard and I know I'm not good enough and it will be a miracle if I reach it,never hope too much for it but still dream of it.
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