Another school day have start....I haven't complete my homework.Not so sure how to do it so later going to do it at school and I'm going to library to get thing done.I hate leaving task there and doing nothing. Oh well just now my mom tell my dad I'm going audition and I felt ......... I don't know how to say and I just show my temper to them again. I don't want let anyone know about me going audition but somehow people found out....I want to keep a secret so well next time. Try it. This year audition only have one round and if pass mean pass.
I was thinking about it during last night when I was going sleeping..That even I wish those person who pass included me but I know can't be me.If is me,it's such a miracle that it happen. If only I pass than I can one day tell my mom , "Mom! I pass! I did it. You say that I will give up one day,you see I don't give up." I wish by that time I can get support from her but I guess I won't even get in for been a trainee. My mom always share secret with my dad , something not meant to say yet she say it that what piss me off. I felt like betray? Okay ya and she look down on her own child? Hmm...That why I want to prove to her I'm not playing with this dream.She thought that I'm playing when she say that one day even I become trainee I will half way give up.I mean if I will give up at any moments,for what I hold on to this dream for 6 year?In my life,there's not one time I'm so serious about getting one thing expect for this dream.I just want my mom to respect my dream and the job I wish to have and give me support rather than thinking I'm playing.I felt so disrespect when she say the word , it let me felt like she thinking I'm just playing.......
She say other people get in one also will give up,you no get in why still don't want give up.You know the feeling of hurt you get been say like you're playing. She say other people pretty,tall and all other thing. I know she's trying to tell me , in entertainment world without looks can't survive. I know . I know it all but I still want to try. I don't believe entertainment world only need pretty face to survive.. You never know how much hurt word my mom once say out without thinking. You won't know because I don't want type out all the word she say..
Fine..It's all okay,no matter how hurt it's I'm still holding on to this hope. No matter what I'm going prove to her that I won't give up and I'm not playing. I will wait for the day I can tell her , "Mom.I did it.I'm not playing with my dream.I'm serious about it.I won't give up."
In this dream,only I'm alone.Like others many say,in entertainment career dream road , everyone , every single one of person are lonely and got to give up many thing.I won't let a chance slip pass.Every audition,you got to go for it if you really serious about it. No matter you're prepare or not. You need to prepare?How long?1 year?2 year? or 10 year? You won't know that you're prepare unless you go for it. Chance don't always come. When it come,you must take it.There's no harm trying it.That what I always tell myself.
Even I ask myself , "It been 6 year,why don't you just give up.No.I can't give up.This is just the beginning.I did not try hard enough.I did not word hard enough , this is just the first step.There's many step ahead of me."
Even thought of giving up but always is my mind that talk but my heart are always the one that say , "No! You can't give up! It's not time to give up yet!" .
It seem like devil and angel and I choose to listen to angel because that's what I want too.Because I also don't want to give up on singing.No matter how hard I try not to sing,once I heard music,I will felt so ....I don't know how to say.
Sigh...This audition,hope it's going to be fine.At least let me don't mess it up.
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