[Dairy] Birthday

"I can't hold those tears back anymore,I still can't forgot those scene."

"Don't want to felt those pain anymore,it's all enough for me."

"Don't have the confident,it will be fine for me if you're fine."

"I will once again back away and live this world of painfulness."

Those word that I can't speak out,left me speechless. 

Don't have the confident to believe it again , those fear that left me speechless.

Stop smiling , stop been so good , it will only make me falling more.

Your voice that keep ringing in my mind, your smile that make me speechless.

I'm a fool,keeping all those pain inside my heart.

I don't have the confident to believe in that word anymore even I want to. 

I might shame you if I'm beside you. You're too prefect. 

I don't want to felt that feeling I have felt years ago. I don't want to. It really hurt a lot and break me into pieces inside me. 

I don't want to be hurt.

Can you just see that I'm afraid? 

I might shame you because you're too prefect. I don't have the confident to be beside you. I don't want to felt that pain anymore.

Babo...

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Birthday today and it's school day. Such a boring day. 

Jiaxin bought for me those Hello Kitty stuff while JiaJia bought for me a pooh! But too bad, I play till its shirt been torn . Sorry pooh! It's by accident. 

From my typing , you can see that I'm not in a good mood right? Well..Yes. 

Well...After school,went to Somerset and eat lunch with JiaJia and JiaXin. Than I suddenly say , "Why birthday no cake?" 

Than Jiaxin suddenly say she go buy sweet potato than I really believe and about 5 minute later,she come back and she was running so hyper and she give me a small birthday cake she bought upstair! I was really surprise and I got to say this is the first time that I have been surprise by someone because mostly I will know what people going to do before they do it ~ I got to say I love surprise . 

Share the birthday cake with them and than we say joke till I keep choke till water and the feeling was not really good. I thought I was going to die. 

They bought me a small soft toy which is keychain. I knew it they want to buy for me since I no buy when they both want buy. But I act like I don't know coz I know I can't stop them. Like I say, I very easily know what people going to do next so I hardly been surprise by others. This year birthday was stress rather than happy. 16 year old , got N level and got to work at the same time.

It's okay. You got to hang onto it. This is just the beginning.