[Dairy] Bad Mood

I don't even have the mood to eat dinner..I don't know what happen but my mood just suddenly become down and many negative thought come into my mind.

I have stop typing for about 30 minute and now I felt much better after keep listening to "SNSD-The Boys English Version." I'm thinking to sing it for audition but after recording it,it's not well prepare yet so all I got to choose is "Tiffany-By Myself" . Yet,I'm scare that I will mess up the low notes.Maybe skip the first line? I will think about it. Today my throat are really not in good condition.Felt so tight and even after drinking honey water,it only cure a bit.I tend to felt that I work too hard on my vocal that it always felt so weird in a way when i sing. I mean how my throat felt when I sing like I'm really singing from throat.

I once heard from someone in Youtube saying that going to vocal lesson are not just because you want to sing more well but it's because you want to protect your throat as you don't want to anyhow sing till damage your voice.Well..Today half my reason of bad mood is because of my voice.The more I hear,the more I hate even I know that if I don't love it,who will?As time pass by,I don't have the confident to sing out in front of many people anymore because of something that happen to me. Half reason is ... okay I don't want to say it.

I'm just really confuse today and I even scream out to shout out my stress I'm taking. Really tired , really want to do well, really want to know the truth.