[Dairy] I'm Afraid

"Always waiting for you to come to me , always and always."

"Day by day , you're more and more far from me."

"Do you hate me so much?Don't you know me at all?"

"Just once,please,just at least notice my exist for once."

Today Mr Lim chat with JiaJia and me about lots of random thing and than he say if we have interest in Korea thing than maybe we can set up a blogshop that sell Korea thing than I tell him that it's troublesome even we have interest in it. Than he say a word that I keep in mind ..

"Nothing is troublesome if you have interest in it."

I notice that when I start to have a big dream,every word just seem to encourage and inspire me. Well...Truth about that word..Just like other everytime say

"If you have the passion for it,nothing in impossible." 

Well....................

I don't know .. I hope it's truth.. I have lots of interest and passion in this dream so I really hope one day I will reach it. 

Alpha CEO said that they're looking for people that have the confident and attutide (did i spell correctly?) . He say even if a person skill is not great but if he/she have the confident of like , "I will do well if you train me." than they will think that person have potential and I'm thinking back to my audition scene. I put myself in the position of the judge and watch myself auditioning and I felt that I lack those x-factor in my looks and voice and that confident they're looking for. 

So now I know what I lack and try my best to improve on. It's hard to improve on confident and x-factor because confident build up in time and x-factor are something someone born with...Sigh...

Every single day,stress about my dream,even it make me so stress,still I never think of giving up.Just what is with me? But no,I don't feel tired even I'm tired. Even I'm tired, I'm already full prepare for all the thing I'm going to face. 

The biggest fear of it is my voice. I don't know why but I just felt that my voice are not that great and not in a good range and I felt that it have reach it limit of improvement. I don't know. But I will try. Nothing will stop me. Well..I know I keep saying well because I don't know how to start a line...

I.... just want to be a person that don't need worry about my voice whenever I sing...I always scare of my voice will sound damn awful ...